Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
what day is it and did you see me today?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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