It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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