I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
