Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
