Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
