Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
