Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
