As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
