Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
The feeling are messing with the penis
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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