my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Randomize
