Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
