I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
