If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
