Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
