Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
