need another drink. this is the easiest way
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
