haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
areolas are like halos for boobs.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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