creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
