I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
