What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
