so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
she peed on how many people?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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