So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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