Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
