I am in a vortex of obligation.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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