The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
