yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
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