She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
