wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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