If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
