Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
