i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
