she looked like the before picture.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
