I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
