come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
