We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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