This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
