You kept calling me your small dog last night.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
