do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
