no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
