David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
