Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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