I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
