you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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