God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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