I want to make a zoo with you.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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