HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
