I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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