So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
