my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
