he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
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