why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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